i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
