We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
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I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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