well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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