im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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