drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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