definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
