I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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