someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
