Christians are straight up FREAKS
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
