She is in my trunk
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize