In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
