Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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