I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
