We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
