I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
