Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
