Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
