I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
