Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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