Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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