What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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