So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize