What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
