OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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