i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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