Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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