How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
