is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
