i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
