I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
