plz talk dirty to me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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