It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
