Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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