trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
