i just wanna soil my oats bro
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
