Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
