I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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