Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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