No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
