You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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