found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
