weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
