Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's always time for handjobs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
