Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
