doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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