I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize