if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
