My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize