So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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