Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
