My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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