Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
send nudes
from the living room?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
