yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
