It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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