Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
