OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
