:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She bit a glass in half.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
