even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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